I've been pessimistic for a while now, and I've been told that things will get better, and life goes on. Something I've realized is that life is ALWAYS going on. I mean, sure things seem pretty bad, but really if you look for it hard enough there's always something good going on too. I guess I'll just go through a list here.
Exams are here.
OK, yeah, exams, they suck, they suck big time. But I'm actually kind of confident I can come out with decent grades. Plus, right after exams is summer vacation. And summer vacation will more than likely be awesome.
I'm going into level 3, and I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I'm going into level 3! I'm almost done with high school! If I work hard, and apply myself, I can really get somewhere. Plus, it's rare that anybody knows EXACTLY what they want to do with their life, I'll figure things out.
I'm running low on cash, and I need a job.
If I get a job, I'll get plenty of money to save up for something fantastic. Plus I can make friends with my coworkers.
I'm probably going to be stuck in Lab City this summer.
This will give me plenty of time to work on that play and other creative endeavors. Not to mention I can start working out like I've been meaning to.
My girlfriend broke up with me.
But since we did we've been actually talking, and I really like that. And now I don't feel so guilty about holding her back, and making her love life monotonous and boring.
I procrastinate too much.
That's just another reason to try harder!
I feel like I'm going nowhere.
You're going to two Drama festivals next year, along with a trip to New York City, and Ottawa for Encounters with Canada! You've got a great year ahead of you!
I want to get the hell out of Lab City, I'm so sick of it here, and every time I come back to this town I feel like a cage falls over my head and my soul starts being sucked away. I'm afraid that I'm going to end up back here even after I graduate, because Labrador has a way of doing that to people. I want to go places, see people, find love, but I know that's not going to happen, because the way I'm going I'm just going to end up alone and unhappy and-
...
OK yeah, maybe I need to work on the whole optimism thing a little bit, but really, I'm getting to be pretty happy with my life right now, and maybe I'm wrong about all of that stuff. I really don't know what else to say, so that's all. I might post something else today, but for now, that's about it.
Bye, because "Have a wonderful day!" Is just too happy go luck for me.
-Nathaniel.
This is a comment for Aly, who, for some reason cannot comment.
ReplyDeleteReply to "On the bright side": You can do it! Optimism yeah! Nathaniel, you've got a lot going for you this summer, and I know for a fact that you can get yourself out of Labrador when you want to, when you're older. You don't have to have everything in your life sorted out yet. You've got some time, and I know you have college ideas, and you've got buckets of creativity and care for people, and that is going to take you places. You're a great person, Nathaniel, and I know things are going to get better for you. I know it for sure. You will get where you want and need to go.
-Aly