Something About Death.

This morning, I was thinking about writing something here. Something about how shitty my life is, and how shitty I feel. Some extremely selfish and stupid post meant to be angsty and whiny because that's just what blogs tend to be used for. Somebody changed my mind. I have a couple of friends who also operate blogs on blogger, and I decided to check their posts out this morning. As it turns out one of them is going through a rather tough time right now. Somebody they know, in their school, has killed themselves. He was about to graduate. There's a lot more to this story, and it's really not my story to tell so I'll leave you a link here so you can read what she has to say about what's happened.
http://mystorygetstold.blogspot.com/2011/06/there-is-no-title-for-this-stuff.html


So this morning I've begun to question death, which never really ends well, because normally you just end up with even more questions. But I'm already started so for better or for worse death is being questioned.

Why do we die? Well, on the most basic level, because we have to. There is only so long that the body can sustain itself. Eventually we all get to the point where we will die, be it from outside causes, from exhaustion of life, or like the young man talked about earlier, of our own volition. This is a very sad truth to face, and I can remember several points in my very young life when I would start to cry because I had once again remembered that everyone dies. Without discrimination we all die. That's more than what can be said of life. In life we're met with all kinds of discrimination. Life is filled with so much hate, and anger, but death is peaceful. Life is filled with so many hardships, and trials to overcome. So much pressure just to live, and nothing but peace awaits us in death. Although that's debatable, it does make one think about the allure of death. There's something about the thought of eternal rest that just seems... relaxing. I can't be entirely sure, but those are the feelings I often associate with suicide and the wish for death. At least, that's what I would look forward to in death. So there are two answers to this question. Why do we die? Because we have to, and because we want to.

But why do so many people have to die so young? There isn't an answer to this. At least not a broad answer to it. Every time somebody dies unwillingly, there's a different answer. That answer could be "Because he crossed the street too early." or "Because she hit the brakes too late." It's just the way some things happen. As much of a cliche this is, fate is a mysterious thing. Now, a lot of people don't believe in fate, more accurately predetermined fate. I'm a little skeptical myself some time, as I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. I prefer to believe that everything happens. Love, happens, life happens, laughter happens, happiness happens, but no matter what, without fail, death happens. It's almost impossible to explain, but it just happens. Yes, deaths can change lives, and they can change the world. Death can cause wonderful things to happen, but death isn't human. Death doesn't care who you are, or what you are. He is a force of nature. Take that as you will, and I'm sure that many people disagree with this point of view. I suppose I'm just so cowardly that I would rather think that my death was my death, and not my purpose. In any case, there are so many reasons for why people die without their consent, you just have to look for the reason in them all. But don't over analyze it, or you might start blaming somebody who doesn't deserve it.

Why do people kill themselves? This is a tough question. Well it isn't really a tough question, the answer is just hard to accept. Because they wanted to. Nobody kills themselves without a reason. Often times it's because they want to end the pain they're feeling, or because they see no point in living. As much as I've hinted that some times I've considered these reasons to end my own life, as most people in this day and age have, they aren't good enough. I don't mean to disrespect anyone who has killed themselves, or anyone who is dealing with a situation in which someone has killed themselves, like my friend. I just mean to say that nobody should kill themselves. As much trouble as you or anyone else has believing this, your life is worth living. There are so many wonderful things to experience in this life. If you don't believe it find someone to talk to, who can remind you of how beautiful the world we're given can be. There will always be trouble, and pain, and suffering, but all of the love, warmth, and happiness makes all of the hard times worth the effort. Go out and find someone, anyone who will listen to you, and help you through the feelings that you have. It can be anyone. A girlfriend, or boyfriend, your mom, or dad, another family member, a friend you trust. It doesn't even need to be somebody you know all too well, just somebody to talk to about your feelings.

http//suicidehotlines.com/

This site acts as a directory for suicide hotlines near you. You can find international hotlines on the site as well. This is a pretty big detour from the point, but I think it's really important that if you have these feelings you should talk about them. There are other forms of voluntary death, such as euthanasia, which spur a fair bit of debate on whether or not it is moral to let someone kill themselves. But that's a different topic entirely. All I'm aiming to achieve here is to discuss the reasons for death. We do control our ability to take our own lives, and the reason people kill themselves is because they want to. It's a horrible thing to think that somebody would give up on life, and it really does make us question ourselves. "Why? Why wasn't I there? Why couldn't I help? Why couldn't they have been happy? Why didn't I stop this?" You can't blame yourself for what happened, because it isn't your fault. They took their life because it was their choice. It's horribly tragic that people are compelled to take their own lives, but the most you can do is take consolation in the fact that it was their choice, and that they're in a happier place now. Don't be afraid to cry, don't be afraid to talk to someone, but most of all don't be afraid to live your life, and help anyone who is feeling that their life isn't worth living.

This third reason for death shouldn't exist. Nobody should feel like they need to take their own life. In a perfect world, nobody would feel the pain necessary to push them over the edge, and make them yearn for death. But this isn't a perfect world. This is just a world. Some people want to die. And that's horrible. But it's also life.

I really don't know what else I can say. I hope that my friend finds all of the answers to all of her questions. I hope that some day she can make sense of everything that is happening to her. I hope that anyone who is suffering through conflicted feelings about life resolves them, and becomes happy. I hope that some day, people can stop dying without a reason, although that's more of an idle dream than anything else. I hope that one day, when I die, I will have lived my life, will be ready for death. And I hope all the same for you.

Bye, because Adieu is too grim.

-Nathaniel

"There is only one god, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing you say to death: Not today." -Syrio Forel, "A Game of Thrones"